“The ban was a necessary precaution. We have to be willing to make these kinds of sacrifices if we’re going to prevent scientifically impossible terrorist attacks.”
I haven’t checked The Onion in a while, and it’s good to see that the standards haven’t dropped. Sometimes their articles come very close to straight reporting, given the absurdities perpetrated on the American public by their government.
By the way, thanks to Bruce Schneier for alerting me to this.